Transfer Test - Staying Relaxed, Calm & Confident

The months and weeks leading up to exams can be very stressful for those taking exams and also for their parents & teachers.

I believe that every challenge in our lives can be an opportunity for us to learn something new.

I am hopeful that we can perhaps use the challenge of exams as an opportunity to teach young people some new skills and share some knowledge to help to reduce the effect of stress and allow them to achieve their full potential whilst gaining skills that they can use throughout their life.

This is something very close to my own heart as my earliest memory of using essential oils is from when I was doing what was then called the 11+. I have since added to my relaxation & positivity toolbox and am now very grateful to spend my day sharing these skills and techniques with people of all ages. Lavender, Rosemary & The Neals Yard Study Remedy To Roll are all products I recommend. Essential Oils can also be use in the bath and I would recommend also including Epsom Salts(Provided their are no contra indications)

When we are stressed, worried or anxious, it is very difficult for us to remember even the simplest of things, to focus and concentrate all of which are very important when we are faced with sitting a test that we want to do our best in and exactly the same is true for children. The good news is there is lots we can do to help.


Visualisation is a great tool used by many people particularly athletes and sports professionals to help them achieve their best. The idea is that we want to create the best possible outcome in our minds, and we can use it to train our brains to feel a particular way in a particular situation. You might want to read this regularly to your child over the next couple of weeks.

A simple visualisation.

Close your eyes and imagine waking up on the morning of your exam, you have woken up early so that you have lots of time to get ready and you feel so good. You have had a restful night's sleep and are feeling relaxed and calm and confident. You know that you are going to do your best and because of that you feel very proud of yourself, your parents and teachers also feel very proud of you.

You take 3 deep breaths in through your nose and you slowly breathe out through your mouth and your body feels even more relaxed. You know you can breathe in deeply any time you need to feel calm and focussed. You stretch your body and get ready to get out of bed, you imagine wrapping yourself in a beautiful coloured cloak that will help you feel relaxed, calm & confident throughout the rest of the day and you then do everything that you would normally do in the morning time wash, brush your teeth, shower, have breakfast whatever you would normally do repeating to yourself " I am relaxed and calm & confident."

You eat a healthy breakfast which is going to help you stay focused and give your brain and body all the energy it needs. You then imagine yourself leaving home and travelling to the school where you will be doing your test. On your way there you gently massage your hands, particularly the relaxation point in the centre of your hand (imagine you were going to get some water in your hands the part that helps us to relax is if we cup our hands the little well part that appears ) that helps you stay relaxed and calm.

You arrive at school and you are taken into the hall and you sit down at your desk, you have a tissue with your favourite oils on it and you breathe in the lovely smells and you are very happy at how relaxed and calm you feel. You begin to focus on breathing deeply, filling up your brain and your body with all the oxygen it needs. You are ready to begin your test and you open up your paper and you know that you will be able to do your very best, during the test any time you feel worried or nervous you take some deep breaths in and say to yourself "I am relaxed, I am calm and I know I can do this, I can remember everything that I have to remember, I am healthy, I am proud of myself. I am the best me, I can be."

Once the test is over you are then ready to go home and enjoy a lovely relaxed afternoon, knowing that you have done your best, that your parents and teachers are very proud of you and that whatever happens, you will be starting a new chapter with lots of new opportunities and experiences.

You can access an audio version read by me here:

I have been a Relax Kids Coach since 2012 and am delighted to share with you the Relax Kids tips and ideas for staying Relaxed, Calm & Confident before, during and after the test.

Download PDF • 268KB

You can also check out some of my other Blogs that may also provide helpful info. I have linked some of the ones that might be helpful below.

If you have children of Transfer Test age you may also want to consider attending Changing Cycles Preparing For Puberty Program - a space for parents to learn about how best to support their children in the years ahead. This program is run regularly, at the time of writing this Blog, the next date is Nov 2nd 2022

If you have any questions about anything in any of my columns please contact me at

If you have a young person at home who is struggling with the pressure of exams please speak to their school or GP as a first point of contact and then explore other options that may be helpful.

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