In early February 2020 after two tragic deaths in my local community I wrote a piece about how in the midst of the loss, shock and tragedy family and friends that had lost their loved ones were supported by their community and how I hoped Ireland never changed how it did wakes. Who could have imagined how quickly things would have changed and how difficult things would become for grieving families and communities.
We are rarely adequately prepared for the death of a loved one and however we imagined it might be it wouldn’t have looked or been the way it is now and that makes it all the more difficult and challenging for us to process and to deal with, not only have we lost our loved one, we have been robbed of all that is familiar about how that looks and feels.
It is also more difficult because there is very little distraction from our grief, the day to day things that we might have been able to do to take our minds off it for a while or to counterbalance the feelings we are experiencing aren’t there and everything is magnified.
Children will also be feeling this. In fact it is very common for children to absorb the feelings around them and for parents or adult who is experiencing grief to focus their attention on support the child and yet the truth is that we need to look after our own oxygen masks first.
The key is to give ourselves permission to be human and whilst none of us want to feel uncomfortable feelings and we wish they would go away they are part of what makes us Human Beings. Every single person experiences grief differently and how we experience it can vary day to day.
These Resources from The Irish Hospice Foundation may be helpful.
There are many things that can support us through difficult times both to help us heal and to deal.
If I can help to support or signpost please get in touch. Different things are right for different people
Go Gently.
Joanne x